For 9 years I have made the same path walking my dogs down to the pond and back from our house, morning and evening. Through rain, cold, snow, drought, and the BEST mornings and weather ever. I have seen the most glorious cloud accumulations, and the brightest and most welcoming sunrises and sunsets. I have stood in awe over our creation that we get to enjoy and experience together, but usually, just me and my dogs and one or two cats. I give thanks over this land, my animals and family, my body and just all the things I am thankful for, or need to pray about and rid myself of bitterness and anger. This walk is always a cleansing experience and usually ends too soon. It is exactly 1/2 a mile from my back door down, and around the pond, which has dwindled more to a puddle now.
BUt I talk with God, Smell the crisp or humid, fragrant or smelly air. See the wonders of dew on weeds that bejewel them and turn their weediness into a royal carpet. Sun reflecting on the dogs wet fur creating a shimmer. I think we all feel like Kings and Queens when we travel this path together. The simple joy shown on my animals' faces reveals that we are a "family" and this is our routine to relish together.
Being in my mid-age, and my last child sent to college, I am intrigued by my life, where I have come from and where I am still going. What have I done with my talents, or not done. Did I raise my children to fend off the wolves? Will they survive? Did my strengths instill in them the will to fight, or did my weaknessess show them how to have a hissy fit and give up? All these thoughts are wrecking my brain, and my walks to the pond have answers and provide me peace that I have done what I have done, and it was what I could do. I tried my best at times, and my humaness took over at other times. This I can not change. But I can love them and help them, still being their guide, or tough anchor when needed. I just pray my advice is wiser than I am. That it comes from divine intervention.
I have stressed over living on a farm, and not having enough money, or time to be able to have the "better" things in life or travel more. But being able to have peace, quiet, and cleansing experiences daily is probably more valuable than any extra dollar I could have made. Would my life have been easier living in the city and being able to save a ton of money? Not having 30 animals to console me? Yes, it would have been much easier, but would I have aquired wisdom? Would I have the same patience I have now? Would I be able to SEE the world as I see it now? The depth of God?
The answer I have fought for my entire life, especially the past 9 years, has finally arrived! I have asked for wisdom and truth since I can remember, and I have it. The 15-30 minutes of peace or near peace every day, which is driven by my animals in my life, has made me. Looking into innocent eyes of simple lives since I can remember has literally formed me into this patient, loving, kind, forgiving, established, spontaneous, and 10 million other adjectives person. God has placed animals, and children, and people that need more loving, into my care, and I have just done my job, usually without complaints.
Tears well up into my eyes as I realize that the answers have been at my fingertips, answers to questions deeply rooted into my life, these healing beings that touch my soul with no agenda. (maybe except to eat and drink) Thank you God. I pray that this has helped my children as well. Made them more loving and caring, more concerned about others beyond their own immediate needs. I will know this in time.
But for now, my journey continues as I paint these creatures and other creatures that I have not met yet. My best is yet to come.
