February 7, 2008

Feb.7, 2008
“The author of souls”, she told me, and she looked so deep into my spirit that I believed her. Author of souls, I kept reflecting. After she said that I almost couldn’t concentrate on everything else she had to say. In a pause in the conversation I asked “do you always feel compelled to tell others what you think about them like this?” And she said “no, very rarely if I do. Not often have I had someone come into my mind as much as you do. Usually you would be just another mother of one of my students, but you are different.” Mmmm. I thought to myself. This is not the first time this has happened to me. I know of other instances, my father used to tell me how very special I was, and I a person approached me in Colorado in a church that I visited and looked right at me as she did and said, “you are going to do something very special!” and they were gone. That was 20 years ago. I know I have a story to tell others, about the wilderness I have wandered through, the mountains I have climbed, the wild horses I have ridden and broken, the real moments I have had with God, the times I have wanted to end it all and go home, the people I have touched and the ones that have touched me. Is it time….now to express this? Whether in words, speeches, art, love…..how? I do not know. But to stand on a mountain and tell the world about my conclusions or resolutions is what I need to do.

Like a blank canvas…where do I start? I am staring and staring waiting for my hand to make a move. Once it starts I can not stop it.